Coffee

Lately, I've become a big fan of coffee. Straight, black, big-girl coffee. The kind with no cream or sugar. Now this might seem obvious to most people, but for someone who always took her milk and sugar with a little splash of actual coffee, this is a big change. I came late to the whole realization that one drinks coffee the same way one takes any drug. For a reason. I mistakenly thought that people drank it as a beverage of choice because they liked the taste, rather than what it could do for them. Hence, my coffee always tasted much more like liquid candy than anything else. I could always fall right to sleep after drinking a cup, since I was basically downing a hot glass of sweet milk.

In my never-ending quest to "finish well," (meaning-- get to the end of the day without killing anyone, doing emotional damage which will require later therapy, or in general displaying a complete lack of patience or understanding) I have tried various strategies. Early bedtimes for all ages, no naps past 18 months, a 5:00 glass of wine, lot's of internal counting to 10's, the development of a sugary sweet sing-song voice. And while many of these things have proven helpful in their own way, at different times, nothing works as well as my after-dinner cup of regular coffee. I know this means that I am awake far longer into the night than I should be, but the result I am looking for is kind of just that. I am viciously coherent during bedtime.

My children argue. A trait that I have more or less encouraged their entire lives. There are four of them, and they each have things to say, opinions to share, concerns and fears and issues to bring forth. And while many of these come out at random times and volumes during the day, the twilight of bedtime seems to bring out what ever else is left in their tank. With two kids hitting puberty, I need to be ON for those conversations. I need to be alert to what is said and not said. With the two little ones, they need to whisper their fears about vampires and boogey men and who might or might not still be their friend in the morning. They need a mommy with monster killing properties, who exerts her power on the threatening world and not on them.

This does seem like a no-brainer, right? Be nice to your kids. I'm here to say that parenting, can kick your butt without pausing for breath. I have found the experience to be much more like a marathon than a sprint. I love the race, but I'm all about any and every tool or gimmick that makes it that much easier to keep running. In the Bartkovich house, it is usually bedtime when things begin to break down. If we have survived the "witching hours" unscathed, and the aerobic exercise that the dinner table provides, the next challenge is usually "the routine." How do you get kids who want to do anything but, ready for bed and headed off to sleep. It is never easy. You'd think the day in and day out nature of the experience would somehow prepare everyone. But no, everyone still seems surprised by the fact that they must go to bed. What?! Can't I just watch one more episode... finish this chapter.... play just a little bit more... but I'm hungry... or thirsty... I forgot that I have two more pages of homework... can't we just snuggle a little longer... my friends stay up sooooo much later.... I'm just not tired... I need to talk to you about ______. Sigh. My ability to deal with these requests diminishes rapidly after 7:30. I'm just too tired. I want instant obedience. I don't want to threaten or yell or give the evil-eyed glare of a mom on the edge. And I find myself getting more tworked off as I do exactly those above things.

Is coffee the parenting silver bullet that cures all ills? No. But does it give me, for this time and this stage, a little extra leg up? Definitely. A little extra energy hit, with the accompanying clarity of vision and mental acuity to get me from the dinner table to the post bedtime zone with good humor and focused attention is just what I need and coffee delivers.