Back to BGO

After much heartfelt discussion and prayer (which included a few personal temper tantrums on my part) Kev has returned to our home in Uganda. Not permanently, just for a visit. The first time he has been back to Bundibugyo in three years, the first time he has been out of the country and away from modern medical facilities since his sudden death event.

I admit, when he first broached the subject I reacted poorly. In my defense he began the conversation by saying that he had a "favor" to ask. I thought he might want me to get him a glass of wine from the kitchen before our video started. Instead he wanted permission to embark on a remote international journey. This lead to a loud and explosive confrontation the likes of which have not been seen since our first year of dating.

Bundibugyo will always have a special place in my heart, carved deeply through suffering and sacrifice, joy and friendship. But did I want the love of my life, risking his to return to our former home? And so I cried and pouted and went to bed angry and hurt, only to wake up the next morning with the conviction that this desire of his should be approached in the same way we have always approached major decisions. If we moved forward with this desire, would doors open? Would the mission be open to a visit? The team on the ground in BGO is small right now. We know from personal experience that visitors, even low-key ones, come at a cost. Would the team be willing to host Kevin or would that seem overwhelming? The school has been through a lot in the past few years since our departure. Was the new headmaster willing to have Kevin return? Would he find a visit now helpful or disruptive? Could we find the money in our budget to cover the trip? Would Kev's cardiologist and primary care physician sign off on the adventure or advise against it? Would the needed shots and medications for traveling to "a remote, rural location with high contact with local people" interact negatively with his current medications. There were a lot of doors that could have closed, and I must admit that I kept out hope that one of them would slam shut. Instead the doors continued to open wide.

And rather surprisingly (from my point of view) the closer we got to his departure the less panicked and the more peaceful I felt. The more I began to let go of the fear that he would die if out of my sight. I know this is one of those quirky things. Just like eagle-eyeing a healthy newborn to make sure they will continue to breathe, I had the same irrational fear... that another throwdown could happen and I wouldn't be there. Fortunately, my husband is a patient and yet persistent man. And I love who he is. I love the way he's geared, even when that makes me uncomfortable and tworked off. And I desperately want him to pursue God's calling in his life whether that is investing in students here or in Bundibugyo. I don't want to restrict him because of my fear... which is somehow a better feeling prayer than the previous door shutting one.

So we spent the last few days together packing trunks and sharing stories of our time together in BGO. After two long international flights and a day of recovery in Kampala, this morning he flew into Bundibugyo on a small prop plane, landed on the grass runway, met the new missionary team currently on the ground and reunited with his staff at CSB.

And just in case you were wondering, all four of our kids begged to go "back home" with him.

Meanwhile, I went to Blueberry Bay Farm and picked three pounds of blueberries and a quart of black raspberries and spent the afternoon making triple berry jam and homemade ice cream.