Compartmentalization

"So what are you doing now?" As more of our community here welcomes us back, this seems to be the most popular question. Our long absence unbroken by a previous year long furlough (only shorter quick visits-- or long maternity confinements) makes this time feel and look unfamiliar to many of those who love and support us. What does one actually do on furlough or Home Ministry Assignment (HMA) anyway? As we try to answer that very question for others, we realize that we are also grappling to answer that for ourselves.
For now, we are homeschooling the kids together. Enjoying them, their brilliance and their emotional, stubborn sides as we guide them through the learning process as defined by the NC end of year goals. It's a fun way to spend several hours each day. While this limits the time Kev and I have to converse, to pray, to study... we know that it is the right thing for our family. The conversations that flow as we spend lot's of time getting to know our children are priceless and helpful as we look towards the bigger issues of our future plans.
We're reading lot's of world view challenging books, studying scripture individually and in small groups within our home church. Plugging in where we can and in general enjoying being back in Durham.
After years of being "a world away" both geographically and emotionally, we are comfortably settling back into our families and their lives. Weddings, anniversaries, even phone conversations are not things to be taken for granted. We know the sacrifice of not attending those, of missing not only important milestones but also just the everyday grind in our loved ones lives. As we would say in Bundibugyo, "we are available" and our family and friends are "available to us."
Of course I'm beginning to have Sydney Bristo moments. My life for the last number of years has been carefully compartmentalized. Like a chameleon, I step off the plane and adapt to whichever culture I'm faced with. I have my more current Bundibugyo life, and my previous America life. Both separate. Before, this has been pretty easy to regulate. After all, we have just popped over for visits, long enough to run out to Wal-mart and Sam's to load up the requisite number of trunks, and in general sipped from the fire hydrant of American living for a brief period of time. After too short conversations with friends and family we've hopped back on yet another transatlantic flight. Sure, I can describe my life in Bundibugyo to my friends while I'm in America... but I can't feel it. I can't see the subtle and not so subtle ways I've changed because of it. I'm far too busy remembering how to "Be American."
My prayer during our ten week camping adventure was to allow the process of decompartmentalization to begin. To somehow merge the two me's back together. Okay, I realize this sounds a bit schizo. But what I'm really trying to get at is the self recognition that our time in Bundibugyo has changed me, in some ways radically so. And I would really like to live out of that changed reality rather than revert back to the American me that I was before or the more "out of touch with America" missionary me that is so easy to hide behind.